Tag: Travel

Falling Off The Earth

You are a complete human.

I see you in your wholeness.

To me this means that there will be just as much engagement as there will be disengagement in our lives.

Sometimes we must fall off the Earth to be able to fall back into our passions, work, and love here in the world.

Just like the Sun comes and goes and the moon goes through its phases and plants bloom and then die… so do we.

I have attempted to have blogs before, being a consistent blogger and writer. Really wanting to be devoted to the work. Yet there always comes a time when I check out… I stop writing… I go inward and need to just be alone and disengage for a bit. The difference though is that most of the time in my past I have made myself wrong for doing this. I have made up stories about how I am a failure or how I won’t be able to have what I want because

“I am not disciplined enough.”

“I am not consistent enough.”

“I struggle too much myself to have anything to offer anyone else.”

These have been my past stories about this pattern in my life. This time is different. I want to come back and say hello. Speak my truth. Be transparent about the cycles of my life. No more shame only being kind to myself and owning my truth.

My truth is that I am 100% okay with falling off the Earth if that is what I need to do…

I am more interested in doing what I need to do here than to be fake and pretend I am okay and engaged if I am actually not.

My other truth is that I want to be more consistent and I am dedicated to learning how to continue my consistency with writing even when I am in the darker part of my cycle. I am open to experimenting with what this looks like… if any of you have any suggestions I would love to hear them in the comments below.

One of my passions in life is to help others cope and honor all phases, sides, and cycles of being a human. To acknowledge and see the beauty in our dark and in our light. To own being a whole, complete and perfect being on this planet.

The beauty of being alive is experiencing the wholeness of living. Today I honor you. All parts of you. All the cycles you go through. All the emotions you experiences. All the feelings you feel. Your good days. Your not so good days. Everything about you is beautiful. Everything that you are is what makes you dynamic, unique, and such a beautiful human. The mess. The beauty. ALL of it.

I also honor myself. It feels so good to be back and writing. It feels so good to be in Austin for South By Southwest. (In case you didn’t know where I was!) It feels good to be with good friends. It feels so good to be alive.

I would love to hear anything that is coming up for you when you read my words. I am so grateful for your voices here…

Sending you love from deep in the south.

Xoxo

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Driving in cars…

Today I left Denver.

My first month of travel is already over… how that happened, I am not sure.

Yet, today was the day.

It was a full day. Quite eventful.

I got up early. Which to be honest was intense because I spent last night enjoying all of my amazing new Denver friends until the wee hours of the morning. We had a little house party at the “hot house” (early post referral) and it was amazing. The people here have blown my mind.

People, blow my mind. Literally. But that is not what this post is about…

So I got up early and finished cleaning my delicious sublet oasis (I might be fond of this place…) and did a goodbye ceremony which pretty much just looked like me staring into space admiring and sharing my gratitudes outloud!! Then I went and met the new subletee to key drop. Then I went to lunch with a  friend that has become family. Followed by giving a few more friends goodbye kisses. And then I drove to a tattoo shop and got a new tattoo… Don’t worry it wasn’t a quickie off the wall… I have been wanting this tattoo for a really long time and was introduced to a great artist at Dedication Tattoo, named Jason! He did beautiful work… it is quite simple and beautiful. I am not ready to reveal it but soon enough… soon enough.

Then I drove from Denver to Salida, Colorado… Let me just tell you something… this drive. I took 285 and the entire drive was like something out of a magical fairytale. I made one pit stop at the Collegiate Peaks Lookout (picture below).

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During the drive something hit me

I love driving completely alone and being the only car on the road.

There is something about it. It is just you and road. You and earth. You and thoughts. You and you…

The most profound thing about this statement is that everyday I realize more and more how much I enjoy being alone. At this moment it was like that moment when pudding is no longer watery but becomes more solid and thick and real and ready to chill!  Yeah it was like that. It was a pudding moment for me. (Feel free to use pudding as a verb from now on… you’re welcome!!!) What I am really getting at is that my truth keeps getting more solid, thick, tangible…and it is truly amazing!

During my divorce when I was, what felt like, thrown into being alone and didn’t want to be… being alone was the worst, most painful experience of my life. Part of that was feeling completely betrayed but the other part was that I didn’t think I was good at being alone, it wasn’t natural for me. It wasn’t my path. Well I thought that until…

A few months ago when I started studying astrology as another modality to do inner exploration. During my studies I learned the most profound thing about myself: I actually am a very introverted person. I know, I know… if you are reading this and know me intimately then you must be laughing your ass off because I am also one of the most social people you will ever meet.

I am what they call an introvert/extrovert — yep.

I have been told since I was little how wonderful it is that I am so social and such an extrovert. I am not saying this is false. What I am saying is that there was never any room for me to explore being an introvert and being alone. I always thought I got strength and energy from others and that being alone just wasn’t really something I was into.  Now as I sit in my dear friends families bed and breakfast with the entire 5 room place to myself I am highly aware that the opposite is true. I gain so much energy, strength, clarity, and joy from being alone. In fact it is my sacred space. To be more specific I am sacred and everything I do and everyone I engage with gets access to my sacred space. That is a huge shift for me.

I am in a state of evaluation. Even tonight. I went to the local brewery to grab a brew and do some writing. This very handsome, mountain man started up a conversation with me and then as he left asked me for my number. I didn’t have any business cards on me so I just decided well okay… no harm, no foul. The best part. He texted me soon after to see if I would come meet him back out. My past self would have said yes… a little flirting, another drink, some laughs, a good time… definitely yes… but me now I told him no, I told him I would rather write and be alone. I need to write that again in order to truly believe it with my own eyes…

I told him I would rather write and be alone… holy shit. 

This does not mean that I don’t want to be in relationship with others or that I don’t want to find a man that makes me hot and bothered or that I don’t want to spend time with new people and hear about others lives and dreams… what it means is that if my body is telling me to spend time writing and being alone… you better believe I am going to do just that. No more sacrificing my needs for others. No more ignoring my inner cues and intuition. No more…

I don’t say this to myself enough, but I am really damn proud of myself. This is exactly what I wanted and it is exactly what I am getting… Sure it looks different than I thought it would at times… but I have been dreaming about falling in love with myself for years… I am so grateful for this time. I am especially grateful because as I talk and meet more people on my travels, one common thing people say to me is:

“you are so lucky for this time, I have never been alone”.

People have openly expressed that they wish they had had the opportunity that I am having right now. Or that they could do it now…Time to explore themselves and explore the world. Well don’t you worry, anyone who feels that way…please live vicariously through me until it is your time. Come here to read and also share about your dreams or things you have done that you want the world to see. This is your space. This is where dreams come alive. This is where confidence and believing in what you are capable of is born. This is where ANYTHING is possible. I have so many people in my life that say the words can’t. I can’t do that. You can’t do that… I do not even understand that phrase anymore. If you want something, go after it. You don’t have to know how… thinking we need to know how is an illusion because all that there is ever is doing one thing after another after another after another. It just one small step at a time. Don’t worry or get overwhelmed by the end result… this isn’t a race and isn’t about the destination … it is about the journey and the day to day adventures that will get you to where you want to be.

If this blog does anything… I want it to inspire others to live. That doesn’t mean you have to travel like I am… tap into what living and creating your dream life looks like and then go after it.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES…

A dear friend of mine said to me the other day that when she was younger she bought a one way ticket to Europe and while traveling she met a man that told her “it is better to regret what you did then to regret what you never tried”. 

I love that quote.

Can you sit for 5 minutes today and ask yourself if I died tomorrow am I living and experiencing life as I want to?

If it’s a yes, hell yeah!!! Breathe into how amazing that is…

Seriously keep sitting in…allow yourself to be doused in the beauty of your life!

If your answer is a no… cool. Think of things about your life that you do love and then acknowledge the not so ideal things without judgement. Where you are is perfect… I mean you are reading this and hopefully you are thinking about life and really that is all we can ever do. So now ask yourself ok what is one thing right now, today that I can do to move toward what I really want? Maybe it is going on a walk with your partner or baking something new that you have been dreaming of making or taking the new job in the face of fear or asking someone for help or booking that plane ticket you have been saying you want to book…

Whatever it is…

Our hearts call us to do things and we don’t do them and then we feel bad or beat ourselves up or regret never doing it…

I feel like I am going on this journey for all of humanity. To teach others to explore themselves. Take risks. Discover what they truly want and then go after it with a fire that can never be put out.

I give you permission to go deep within yourself and experience all of the sweet nectar that lives there.

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Traveling Entrepreneur, my ass…

I have only be in Denver two days and maneuvering through clients, a new place, a new space, time, energy… ahhh everything. It feels intense. It feels exciting. Mostly though, it feels intense.

I am assuming this what a blind person might feel like trying to figure out a new place or situation. I once watched this documentary about a blind man who white water kayaked the Colorado River.

This story now has a whole new meaning to me because I feel as if that is what I am doing. Blindly going about creating my dream life. Not really knowing what I am doing.

The what is, is:

My phone doesn’t work in my new apartment, which is totally fine except this is how I see clients. In a pinch I remembered that since I have wifi I can use my google phone. Thank you google. So grateful for this resource! P.s. it works great!

I feel extremely tired and I am told it is because of the elevation change. I am not sure but shoot I feel exhausted. This gave me an excuse to visit a local coffee hangout Europa Coffee House, which is like 50 feet from my front door. The coffee was great. The men were beautiful. (Everyone should know how boy crazy I am … now feels like the right time to share this truth.) And it had real great energy. People reading. People sharing space with friends. Good music. It reminded me of my local hangout Onyx Coffee Lab in Arkansas. It will be my home away from home!

I got lost walking two blocks yesterday. Literally, I couldn’t understand my phone GPS and I legitimately got lost in two measly blocks. (Ohh if you don’t know this already, I am not directionally competent.) Well not yet at least. I was proud of myself though I didn’t ask anyone for help, I figured it out all on my own. What seems like a small feat sometimes is bigger than you know!

I drank a few brews (Denver Pale Ale) my first night in Denver and woke up feeling not super hot. This was the Thursday I was talking about in my first blog (read it here if you haven’t yet) so as you all know I had a day full of clients and work ahead of me. I didn’t drink that much but once again everyone is saying it is because of elevation change. The word on the street is that you can drink like normal and then you just wake up feeling like you might die because of change in climate and elevation.

I got confused about my time change from central to mountain time and may or maybe have messed up a few client calls. This was an opportunity to be authentic and transparent. This was also an opportunity for me to connect with my clients, reach out, offer them a gift for the mess up, and just really truly be present with them.

All in a 48 hour time span. Pretty solid if you ask me.

For some reason none of that mattered. I am a human that is going to mess up and sometimes I will mess up more than other times. This being one of those times. I also am being kind to myself. I know that during transition things might get crazy, unorganized, confused, messed up, and disorienting. I feel like if I were a DJ right now I would send myself a love song, telling me everything is going to be alright.

In fact… this one goes out to…. well… me

As I follow what sets my heart on fire something else really beautiful is happening, a natural state of compassion. I have the space to be deeply kind and compassionate to myself because I am amazed by what I am doing. I am in awe of my drive to go after what I want. It makes me honor myself in a completely different way. It makes me trust myself.

Plus, learning how to travel and take care of my child, The Revolutionary Living Institute, is going to be a journey. I feel like it is going to take some adjustment, patience, compassion, kindness, and trust that I can always figure it out! Wanting to be a dirtbag entrepreneur is one thing but making it happen is another.

Things are well here in Denver. Cheers to a lovely weekend. I can’t wait to share more about my adventures.

Xoxo,

Kimberly

 

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