I am a dreamer.
A big picture thinker.
A kickass action taker.
I used to wake up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, because I couldn’t stop dreaming of the day that I was going to be a famous author, speaker, and coach.
Dreaming of the houses I would own in cities, country sides, and different countries around the world.
Thinking about how amazing it would be to have nothing … not a damn thing … hold me back.
Thinking of the day that I could finally say ‘I made it’. Here I am finally doing my work in the world, making a difference, and able to do ANYTHING I please.
Buy a plane ticket on a whim.
See a jacket that I just have to have and not even think twice.
Help family or friends that are in need.
No longer second guessing just fully living.
Even writing this I get caught up in the dream world, thinking, gosh all of those things do sound sooo nice.
Yet I have found something even nicer.
I stumbled upon something worth more than any amount of dreams put together.
It was still cold out.
I was standing behind the register of the coffee shop I work at sometimes. Taking order after order of coffee and food. Receiving money and giving back money. Repeat. I have done this job many, many times before but today it was different.
I stood with both feet flat on the ground, shoulders rolled back, face relaxed and realized how peaceful I felt.
It was a level of peace I had never experienced. It was not in my head it was in my body. I began paying attention in every single interaction I had and noticed I was calm, peaceful, joyful. I found myself deeply connected with each person I met. I found myself deeply in awe with every order made. Amazed at how each cup felt in my hand and how every time I picked one up it felt different than the one before. I found myself looking at each person who walked up and even though I knew their name and even sometimes their order I still felt so immensely curious and inspired by them. Inspired by the mere fact that they stood in front of me. Inspired that they were living, walking beings just like me and were taking breaths right in front of me.
I was highly aware of everything. Noises. Smells. Colors. Shapes. Faces. Bodies. Voices. Everything.
I at first was so much in bliss I didn’t even wonder what was happening I was just in it. Experiencing it.
Let me just preface this by saying that I have worked off and on in the coffee industry for 10 years. I have felt many white paper cups, seen many of the same faces, plated hundreds and hundreds of blueberry muffins but this day it was like I woke up in a different Universe. One where nothing could interrupt my feelings of complete bliss, curiosity, and utter joy.
I was for maybe the first time truly present and also highly aware that I was present.
In this moment every task, every movement, every face, every order was brilliantly the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. When I would walk to the sink to wash dishes I was so in love every step to get there and with the way the water washed over the porcelain and the soap bubbles beaded up on my hands.
Try it. In this moment become hyper aware of what you are doing. Notice the sounds in this moment, Notice every detail of what you are doing. If you are on your computer notice when you touch the mouse. Notice when you type. Notice when you get distracted by something not on your computer and give it your full attention when it distracts you. Try it just for the day, with all that you do, see what happens and then share with me!!
This is it.
This is life.
This is all there is. Ever.
Life isn’t in some future moment that I have been dreaming of reaching or some future self that I will one day be.
Life is in each moment that we are here. Life is when we are washing our dishes. Life is when we are writing our grocery list. Life is when we are taking a bite of our salads. Life is when we get caught talking to a stranger on the street and are running late to the birthday party. This is life.
This day at the coffee shop I realized how much bliss I miss out on thinking about the next thing I am going to do or rushing to get to where I want to be.
I miss out on paying attention to each dish and my body as I wash it. I miss out on intricacies of driving. I miss out on walking down the stairs, each step, to get to the bathroom. My mind is always on what comes next. It isn’t on my journey to the bathroom it is focused on how I will feel once I am done using the bathroom or what I am going to do after I get done using the bathroom. My focus isn’t on noticing every car I pass in detail as I drive it is on thinking about how the party is going to be when I get there. My focus isn’t on cutting up this tomato it is on how amazing I am going to feel after I eat the salad I am making.
Yet there is soooo much missed when we live this way. I mourn all the moments I have missed. All of the awe in the mundane I have wasted away dreaming about the things I believe to be ‘more exciting’. I mourn and I celebrate. I celebrate this moment as I am in awe that I know how to type and can use a computer and not only that but I am amazed to see each letter I press magically appear on the screen in front of me. I am in completely awe that I can have thoughts in my head and form them into this sentences and put it here for the world to see.
I celebrate that in this new awakening never a moment goes by that isn’t magical, unique, and so so extremely celebrated.
I feel so happy that I know I can dream up all the amazing things that I want to accomplish and do in this life AND that I know deep in my soul that this moment, this exact moment, is where all my actual bliss resides. It won’t be when I own three homes or make a certain amount of money or be able to finally do that one yoga pose I have spent months trying to get into. It is NOW. My bliss, my contentment, my life is NOW.
Oh thank God. I don’t have to chase anything anymore. Oh thank God I don’t have to worry about failing or not reaching all of my dreams. I get to just be. Trusting the rest will unfold in my deep state of bliss and presence.
As I say this my breath falls even deeper into my chest and I am calm.
Oh thank God!