Tag: Onyx Coffee Lab

The moment everything changed…

I am a dreamer.

A big picture thinker.

A kickass action taker.

I used to wake up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, because I couldn’t stop dreaming of the day that I was going to be a famous author, speaker, and coach.

Dreaming of the houses I would own in cities, country sides, and different countries around the world.

Thinking about how amazing it would be to have nothing … not a damn thing … hold me back.

Thinking of the day that I could finally say ‘I made it’. Here I am finally doing my work in the world, making a difference, and able to do ANYTHING I please.

Buy a plane ticket on a whim.

See a jacket that I just have to have and not even think twice.

Help family or friends that are in need.

No longer second guessing just fully living.

Even writing this I get caught up in the dream world, thinking, gosh all of those things do sound sooo nice.

Yet I have found something even nicer.

I stumbled upon something worth more than any amount of dreams put together.

It was still cold out.

I was standing behind the register of the coffee shop I work at sometimes. Taking order after order of coffee and food. Receiving money and giving back money. Repeat. I have done this job many, many times before but today it was different.

I stood with both feet flat on the ground, shoulders rolled back, face relaxed and realized how peaceful I felt.

It was a level of peace I had never experienced. It was not in my head it was in my body. I began paying attention in every single interaction I had and noticed I was calm, peaceful, joyful. I found myself deeply connected with each person I met. I found myself deeply in awe with every order made. Amazed at how each cup felt in my hand and how every time I picked one up it felt different than the one before. I found myself looking at each person who walked up and even though I knew their name and even sometimes their order I still felt so immensely curious and inspired by them. Inspired by the mere fact that they stood in front of me. Inspired that they were living, walking beings just like me and were taking breaths right in front of me.

I was highly aware of everything. Noises. Smells. Colors. Shapes. Faces. Bodies. Voices. Everything.

I at first was so much in bliss I didn’t even wonder what was happening I was just in it. Experiencing it.

Let me just preface this by saying that I have worked off and on in the coffee industry for 10 years. I have felt many white paper cups, seen many of the same faces, plated hundreds and hundreds of blueberry muffins but this day it was like I woke up in a different Universe. One where nothing could interrupt my feelings of complete bliss, curiosity, and utter joy.

I was for maybe the first time truly present and also highly aware that I was present.

In this moment every task, every movement, every face, every order was brilliantly the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. When I would walk to the sink to wash dishes I was so in love every step to get there and with the way the water washed over the porcelain and the soap bubbles beaded up on my hands.

Try it. In this moment become hyper aware of what you are doing. Notice the sounds in this moment, Notice every detail of what you are doing. If you are on your computer notice when you touch the mouse. Notice when you type. Notice when you get distracted by something not on your computer and give it your full attention when it distracts you. Try it just for the day, with all that you do, see what happens and then share with me!!

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This is it.

This is life. 

This is all there is. Ever.

Life isn’t in some future moment that I have been dreaming of reaching or some future self that I will one day be.

Life is in each moment that we are here. Life is when we are washing our dishes. Life is when we are writing our grocery list. Life is when we are taking a bite of our salads. Life is when we get caught talking to a stranger on the street and are running late to the birthday party. This is life.

This day at the coffee shop I realized how much bliss I miss out on thinking about the next thing I am going to do or rushing to get to where I want to be.

I miss out on paying attention to each dish and my body as I wash it. I miss out on intricacies of driving. I miss out on walking down the stairs, each step, to get to the bathroom. My mind is always on what comes next. It isn’t on my journey to the bathroom it is focused on how I will feel once I am done using the bathroom or what I am going to do after I get done using the bathroom. My focus isn’t on noticing every car I pass in detail as I drive it is on thinking about how the party is going to be when I get there. My focus isn’t on cutting up this tomato it is on how amazing I am going to feel after I eat the salad I am making.

Yet there is soooo much missed when we live this way. I mourn all the moments I have missed. All of the awe in the mundane I have wasted away dreaming about the things I believe to be ‘more exciting’. I mourn and I celebrate. I celebrate this moment as I am in awe that I know how to type and can use a computer and not only that but I am amazed to see each letter I press magically appear on the screen in front of me. I am in completely awe that I can have thoughts in my head and form them into this sentences and put it here for the world to see.

I celebrate that in this new awakening never a moment goes by that isn’t magical, unique, and so so extremely celebrated.

I feel so happy that I know I can dream up all the amazing things that I want to accomplish and do in this life AND that I know deep in my soul that this moment, this exact moment, is where all my actual bliss resides. It won’t be when I own three homes or make a certain amount of money or be able to finally do that one yoga pose I have spent months trying to get into.  It is NOW. My bliss, my contentment, my life is NOW.

Oh thank God. I don’t have to chase anything anymore. Oh thank God I don’t have to worry about failing or not reaching all of my dreams. I get to just be. Trusting the rest will unfold in my deep state of bliss and presence.

As I say this my breath falls even deeper into my chest and I am calm.

Oh thank God!

So grateful,

Kimberly

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Traveling Entrepreneur, my ass…

I have only be in Denver two days and maneuvering through clients, a new place, a new space, time, energy… ahhh everything. It feels intense. It feels exciting. Mostly though, it feels intense.

I am assuming this what a blind person might feel like trying to figure out a new place or situation. I once watched this documentary about a blind man who white water kayaked the Colorado River.

This story now has a whole new meaning to me because I feel as if that is what I am doing. Blindly going about creating my dream life. Not really knowing what I am doing.

The what is, is:

My phone doesn’t work in my new apartment, which is totally fine except this is how I see clients. In a pinch I remembered that since I have wifi I can use my google phone. Thank you google. So grateful for this resource! P.s. it works great!

I feel extremely tired and I am told it is because of the elevation change. I am not sure but shoot I feel exhausted. This gave me an excuse to visit a local coffee hangout Europa Coffee House, which is like 50 feet from my front door. The coffee was great. The men were beautiful. (Everyone should know how boy crazy I am … now feels like the right time to share this truth.) And it had real great energy. People reading. People sharing space with friends. Good music. It reminded me of my local hangout Onyx Coffee Lab in Arkansas. It will be my home away from home!

I got lost walking two blocks yesterday. Literally, I couldn’t understand my phone GPS and I legitimately got lost in two measly blocks. (Ohh if you don’t know this already, I am not directionally competent.) Well not yet at least. I was proud of myself though I didn’t ask anyone for help, I figured it out all on my own. What seems like a small feat sometimes is bigger than you know!

I drank a few brews (Denver Pale Ale) my first night in Denver and woke up feeling not super hot. This was the Thursday I was talking about in my first blog (read it here if you haven’t yet) so as you all know I had a day full of clients and work ahead of me. I didn’t drink that much but once again everyone is saying it is because of elevation change. The word on the street is that you can drink like normal and then you just wake up feeling like you might die because of change in climate and elevation.

I got confused about my time change from central to mountain time and may or maybe have messed up a few client calls. This was an opportunity to be authentic and transparent. This was also an opportunity for me to connect with my clients, reach out, offer them a gift for the mess up, and just really truly be present with them.

All in a 48 hour time span. Pretty solid if you ask me.

For some reason none of that mattered. I am a human that is going to mess up and sometimes I will mess up more than other times. This being one of those times. I also am being kind to myself. I know that during transition things might get crazy, unorganized, confused, messed up, and disorienting. I feel like if I were a DJ right now I would send myself a love song, telling me everything is going to be alright.

In fact… this one goes out to…. well… me

As I follow what sets my heart on fire something else really beautiful is happening, a natural state of compassion. I have the space to be deeply kind and compassionate to myself because I am amazed by what I am doing. I am in awe of my drive to go after what I want. It makes me honor myself in a completely different way. It makes me trust myself.

Plus, learning how to travel and take care of my child, The Revolutionary Living Institute, is going to be a journey. I feel like it is going to take some adjustment, patience, compassion, kindness, and trust that I can always figure it out! Wanting to be a dirtbag entrepreneur is one thing but making it happen is another.

Things are well here in Denver. Cheers to a lovely weekend. I can’t wait to share more about my adventures.

Xoxo,

Kimberly

 

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