Tag: One Year Alone (page 1 of 2)

2016 Baby…

Well first and foremost Happy New Years! An acquaintance of my mine shared these wise words that I am now going to share with you:

“2016… a graceful turn inward to radical self-love and self-care – a chance to love my own spirit so fiercely that I can blossom into a more loving being for those who need me. I set fire to that which no longer serves me, sending it to the ethers, thanking it for the numerous lessons…setting forth on a new journey to further decolonize, wisen up, more sharply attune myself to Gaia* – to accept myself as a teacher when the space calls for it, and a student when I am to grow from the wisdom of others.”

Meg Houston is an herbalist, magic maker, and storyteller. She is an amazing powerhouse in the world. She resides in Austin, TX.

Second my thoughts about this year and what are to come are this…

A Poem By Axiom.Attic

this is not
your heart
breaking
my darling,
this is your
heart hatching,
shedding the shell
of who you
once were,
this is
your rebirth.

All I have to say yesssss. 2015 felt like a death to me. The death of a  version of me that I literally can barely recognize now. A version that is dependent on others for value and worth. A version that is searching for love no matter how painful or to what level of suffering that love is. A version of me that feels stifled and is willing to drink copious amounts of whiskey until that feeling goes away. A version that served me then and does not serve me now…

The night of New Years I made a big promise to myself. The promise was that NO MORE would I stand in my own way. No more not being fully expressed in the world. No more reaching for love in all the wrong places. No more doing things that I don’t want to do just to please others. NO MORE.

This is my promise:

To everyday walk on this Earth fully Kimberly. Fully quirky. Fully expressed. To value myself, my gifts, and my health in bolddddd ways.  To walk fully in my creativity. Fully vulnerable and authentic. Fully open hearted. Fully in search of the light and love in each person and situation. Fully honest about my struggle. To be fully honest and integral with my words and actions. Fully in service to all I come across and all of those I love. To be fully alive and present in each moment. To follow through on my dreams and watch myself blossom, change, and evolve. To allow the challenges of the years prior to be lessons to learn from and challenges that I face this year to be molding moments to become the most vibrant version of myself. Boom.

To me if I walk in this way then 2016 will only be successful.

This is what I want to put into the world to be held fully accountable for…

  1. Bringing One Year Alone to the Podcasting world. (More to be revealed… Launching March 1st)
  2. Posting weekly blogs here for all. Consistency. Consistency. Consistency.
  3. Loving myself so fiercely in comes out in every word I speak and write.
  4. To be honest and integral with my word. If I say it, you can trust it will happen!!
  5. To keep it weird and real. My only resolution for 2016 is to be more myself and to love myself fiercely. What this means is no holding back. You guys are in for a treat… the real deal Kimberly (just writing this is hilarious to me and slightly terrifying).

 

Here goes nothing. If you champagne pop the cork. Cheers to the best year of our lives. Cheers to no more holding back. Cheers to following through and trusting the process. Cheers to you and cheers to me…

Can I hear a Hell yes…

Kimberly

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Do you struggle with giving?

I was sitting with my Buddhist Monk friend, Geshe, yesterday and I told him

I am stingy.

How do I become more giving?

Let me start by saying that I am giving. I want to own that I love to give but only of very certain things: my time, words of encouragement, love, and acts of service.

I was recently at a dear friends house who was moving and I asked her what I could for her, she said in a quiet voice would you mind washing my baseboards. Of course I said and was elated to be able to do something to help her.

Yet there are some areas of life where I am not giving: money or my material things. I tend to grasp and hold tightly onto my money and my things.

When I brought this up with Geshe he said many profound things and here are a few I want to pass along:

  1. The desire to be stingy is based in fear, fear that there isn’t enough.
  2. He said, Kimberly the only reason you are stingy with money and material things is because you have forgotten that all money and things are not actually yours they are the Worlds and the Universe’s. They are part of the collective of everything that exists. 
  3. He also said true giving has no expectations attached to it. True giving is just that. It is giving without expecting anything in return. It is trusting that when you give that it will come back to you. It might not come back to you in the same form but understand and believing that it will indeed come back.
  4. He also made a profound distinction for me. Giving is not about what you do. Generosity is a state of being. It is a way of living. It is who you are. When generosity becomes your truest nature then everything you do, you do in a generous way. It isn’t like you are generous one moment and then not the next. It is the way you breath, walk, and do everything.

I took what he said and I sat with it last night. I also am reading a book called Self-Observation by Red Hawk and in it, it states “the act of self observation is the only change a human being needs to make in her behavior, everything else, all fundamental changes in behavior, emotion, and thinking arise as a by-product of this practice”. (9)

Combining all of this new information I have concluded this:

In order to become more generous I must just become aware and observe my current relationship with giving. Notice the moments when I want to be stingy or I am living in fear. Simply notice. Notice time and time and time again. Notice the patterns and then watch them break down overtime.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to become a master of something. I believe this to be no different. It might 10,000 times to see a pattern before it breaks or before you can guess that it is coming before it actually comes and to be able to in those moments change direction, path, or behavior. It is in the continual observation without judgment that it becomes possible to do something different. 

This brings up another huge thing for me and it is around judgment. When we simple observe and don’t judge ourselves then we stop destroying ourselves, our hearts, our souls, and our confidence. We just see what is happening and allow it to be which gives it space to evolve, grow, and shift or change.

I also believe that to become generous it takes simply asking yourself in moments of awareness if I were walking my life in generosity what would it look like?

And in those moments if it feels right  to play with shifting into what my vision is and trying something new. Experimenting with how I am. In those moments practice giving without expectations. Practice walking in generosity. Notice and practice.

Notice and practice.

Now it is your turn to share! I want to hear from you.

In what ways do you notice you struggle with giving? Or in what ways do you love to give and how does giving make you feel?

Please share below and also if you are so called share these words with anyone you think could gain something from them!

In deep gratitude,

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Friends in low places…

The title for this blog comes from many places and inspirations. It is not just from the famous Garth Brooks song.

Another inspiration is this delicious photo.

 

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This is a few of my dearest girlfriends. We laid under the stars, being kept warm by a fire, and talked life. Like real life.

Not how the weather is but how our hearts are.

Asking questions to dive deep into each others souls. Offering space for each of us to share and open up and heal.

There are seasons in life that are darker than others. Lower than others. I at times forget how crucial and important friends are during these times. I tend to be a person who isolates myself or keeps to myself about the more bumpy moments in my life. Last night I came out of my hole and spent time with a group of people who feed me, who I long to feed, who radiate love. Last night I was gifted with the remembering of how much healing can happen even in just two hours if you open up and let others hold you and you hold others.

Today I am celebrating friendship.

Here is to learning the path to befriend ourselves and the path to nourishing and cultivating true relationship with others.

Feeling so much gratitude today.

Who can you reach out to and let them know how much you love them and care about them? What friendships do you want to celebrate?

In love and light,

Kimberly

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Do you experience anxiety or stress?

My mentor offered this definition of stress and anxiety to me and it has really got me thinking.

The difference between where you are and where you think you should be. 

I am a sufferer of anxiety. Stress not so much but anxiety definitely. I was taking  a walk this morning and realized I was having anxiety. I was experience anxiety because I was on a walk and was having ideas come up about my business and I wanted to write them down but couldn’t because I was on a walk. I noticed that my heart race picked up and I began walking really quickly. The next thing I noticed is that I was practically dragging the dog that I was walking. Like the poor little thing could barely keep up and when I saw her struggling I pause and said…

Ok where am I?  Walking

Where do I think I should be? At the house writing down these ideas

I then asked myself: What if actually I was meant to be exactly where I am? If I weren’t on this walk I would not even been getting these ideas.

I noticed my breathe deepen and I slowed down. Lula the pup I think cosmically thanked me too.

I was present the rest of the walk. Enjoying the breeze. Enjoying the view. Enjoying the movement of my body.

My anxiety turned to gratitude. My anxiety turned to experiencing my life.

Huge shift.

Where do you have anxiety or stress? Can you take this definition and dissect your anxiety or stress? When you do what comes up?

I would love to hear from you! Also if you know anyone who suffers from stress or anxiety please feel free to share these words with them.

In deep gratitude,

xoxo

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F**k being famous… be kind.

I have many, many times in my life thought that I would know I was changing the world when I was famous, known, people were lining up to see me speak, people were rushing to barnes and nobles to buy my book, people were quoting my work. I used to think this was my purpose. This is what I was chasing. Well this is what I have to say to that…

F**k that… F**k being famous. Be kind.

My beautiful friend Tracey shared this story on Facebook today and I got so inspired to write. The adorable girl in this picture is her amazing daughter Ava.

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So the woman pictured behind Ava came in a few minutes after us and sat down at a busy lunchtime, all alone. She was the only person at a table for one in the entire restaurant.
Ava noticed this and whispered across the table to me, “mom I feel bad that she is sitting all by herself. Can we do something nice for her?”
After some quiet deliberation at our table, we decided to anonymously pay her bill. Best $15 spent in a very long time.
Random acts of kindness feel so incredibly good, friends!!!! Pay it forward Do something nice for a stranger today

Making a difference and changing the world is not about being famous, writing that book, or being on a stage. It is true I desire these things yet I am clear this is not the way I will make an impact. I make a difference in how I live my life. What I model in my everyday walk on this Earth.

My purpose here is to spread kindness, love, and consciousness. PERIOD.

I don’t do this by sharing my thoughts once on a stage or on the pages of a book. I do this by being an example. Walking my talk. By modeling kindness, love, and consciousness. This is how I want to change the world.

Our lives are our example. It is in our everyday decisions and lives that we create change here.

It is in how we talk to a stranger. How we spend our money. How we smile at our cashiers and thank them. How we offer a helping hand to someone carrying too much in their hands. How we look someone in the eyes. How we offer grace, kindness, and compassion to someone when they have had a long day. How we forgive. How we hug. How we show up every single moment.

I love what Tracey said “Random acts of kindness feel so incredibly good…Pay it forward.”

I would love to hear what this blog brings up for you. I would love to hear how you are paying it forward. I would love to hear anything you want to share here. Please share below in comments if you are so called and also share these words with anyone you think would love them.

Sending you so much love,

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Is that so?

The Zen Master Hakuin (1686-1769) travelled extensively to learn from other masters. When he was 32 years old, he returned to the Shoin-ji, the temple in his home town of Hara, in present-day Shizuoka Prefecture. Here he devoted himself to teaching a growing number of disciples. Hakuin was praised by his neighbors as a teacher living an exemplary life. 

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. One day without warning, her parents discovered that she was pregnant.

This made her parents angry. The girl would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment, she named Hakuin as the father.

In great anger the parents went to the Zen Master and scolded him in front of all his students. All Hakuin would say was “Is that so?”

After the baby boy was born, it was entrusted to Hakuin’s care. By this time he had lost his reputation. His disciples have left him. However Hakuin was not disturbed, and enjoyed taking care of the little boy. He obtained milk and other essentials the boy needed from his neighbors. 

A year later, the girl-mother couldn’t stand it any longer. She confessed the truth to her parents— that the real father of the boy was not Hakuin but a young man working in the local fishmarket.

The father and mother of the girl went to Hakuin at once. They asked his forgiveness and apologized profusely to get the boy back. 

Although Hakuin loved the child as his own, he was willing. In giving up the boy, all he said was: “Is that so?”

— Edited from Paul Reps, Zen Flesh, Zen Bones (1957), p. 22

“The Master responds to falsehood and truth, bad news and good news, in exactly the same way: “Is that so?” He allows the form of the moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so does not become a participant in human drama. To him there is only this moment, and this moment is as it is. Events are not personalized. He is nobody’s victim. He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore. Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness or unhappiness. ” – A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

This is I believe to be my whole entire purpose on this planet. To find peace in each moment no matter the outer circumstances. Peace, happiness, and contentment are all within me. It doesn’t matter what life is serving up for me I can still choose happiness and peace. Also when I am at peace with each moment life begins to be a teacher and an opportunity to grow and learn. I don’t have to resist. I get to be present and see what is in each moment to help me evolve.

Life is truly what you make it. Try on just being with whatever is happening in each moment of your day. Without judgment. Without reaction. Without resistance. Whether someone at work is complaining to you. Whether someone is offering to buy you a coffee. Whether you rear-end someone. Whether you see an old, dear friend. They all can happen with ease, peace, and acceptance. Imagine the difference of experience if you rear-end someone — there are two ways one could show up —   you get pissed and start yelling, crying, and screaming. Blaming the other person for slamming on their breaks. Feeling like your life sucks and this always happens to you. OR you get out of your car, take a few breathes, walk over to make sure the other person is okay. Check out the damage. Call the insurance company and the police. Calmly explain what happened to both. Apologize and hug the person you hit and leave the minor accident with the rest of your day fully ahead of you. Feels different right? You have choice. How you act affects others. How you show up changes everything. Even if the other person is freaking out you can be the calm in the storm. We can’t change anybody. We can’t change how they act, how they show up, what they do with themselves and their lives… what we can change is how we act, how we show up, what we are modeling in our lives and in the world.

This is taking responsibility. This is making a difference. This is how you can impact people and the Earth.

Choosing love. Choosing presence. Choosing consciousness.

I love stories. This one always speaks to me. This is what I want to model. Love. Acceptance. Peace. Freedom.

I love you all, thank you for coming here, thank you for reading my words, thank you!

xoxo

Kimberly

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The time you get locked out of your cabin in a snow storm…

The weather here is quite unpredictable. It is part of what I love about this place and also part of the fear of being so secluded in nature.

The other day I left my house to go get some groceries and came back to be completely locked out of my cabin. Not only was I locked out of my cabin but my plastic bag of groceries broke and the contents where spread in the snow outside my cabin door. The reason my cabin was locked was because I am living in seasonal living so the resort has permission to do random cabin checks to make sure the tenants are not destroying the place. Well because I am in the middle of no where I usually do not lock my cabin. When I left to run errands I left my keys on the table as well and returned to a completely airtight cabin with me on the outside wondering what I was going to do.

Let me also explain the weather conditions. Snowing substantially (why I went to get groceries) and in the negative digits as far as temperature.  Also it was after 6pm which means it was dark out. Not the most ideal circumstances to be locked out of my house.

After dropping an entire bag of groceries, realizing I am locked out of my house, and saying a curse word or two…  It hit me. This is life. All that living is, is simply learning to dance with what life presents at any given moment. All that we have control over in this life is ourselves. What we do. How we act. How we interact with others. How we view the world. How we play with outside forces.  Since this is all we can control, it leaves a lot of things out of our control. When we are aware of this we have choice… choice with how to interact with what others and life present to us.

Like obviously it would have been nice to arrive at my cabin and be able to open the door, I left unlocked, with a hand full of groceries and sit in the warmth of my cabin and munch on some of the yummy food I just bought. Yet that is not what happened.

What happened is life presented an obstacle and challenge to me and I got to choose how I handled it and what it meant for my life.

What happened next was beautiful. I popped on my phone (thank you technology).  Looked up the resort website. Called the number on their homepage. Was presented with a voicemail with an emergency number. Called the number and within 15 minutes a man showed up with a  spare key to my cabin. Not only was my crisis averted but I got the opportunity to meet someone new and make a connection and give someone gratitude for helping me. I got to look someone in the eye with love in my heart and thank him. We had a laugh about the situation and a moment of connecting as two humans in the world. Also out of this I had a moment of realizing I can always handle anything. Every time I get to practice handling situations on my own in the world I feel more confident and strong and capable.  As I get more confident in my abilities to dance with what life presents the more I realize that literally anything is possible for me because I will never be in any situation that I can’t handle. Sure this is a minor challenge but major challenges are the same. You take it moment by moment and you simply do what you need to do.

Once I saw a woman drive into a building. She had fallen asleep at the wheel. Her car literally sped quickly across the median in front of mine and rammed into a building. In this moment I did the same thing. Breathed. Took it moment by moment. Went to the car, asked her if she was okay. Called 911. Waited. Talked to her while ambulance arrived to let her know she was going to be okay.

We have a choice to dance, play, and see the opportunities in life or we have the choice to resist, fight back, and see everything as an obstacle to getting you where you want to be.

I mean I could have cursed at the man arriving at my cabin for locking me out of my own house. I could have be short and frustrated and let it ruin my night. I could have had the thought why me? I could have had the thought why is the world against me?

Yet this way of being doesn’t serve me, others, or the world. How you are and how you show up makes a ripple in the world. If I would have been rude or short with the man that came to help, he might have went home frustrated and might have been short with his children or wife, which then ripples to them… and so on and so on. You see the point. How you show up makes a real difference.

Here is a video I would love to share that is such a beautiful example of people seeing opportunity in life. Making the best out of the challenges, struggles, and obstacles in life.

 

They have challenges and obstacles that are presented to them daily and they have discovered the power of dancing instead of fighting. If you are having challenges and struggles in your life it means NOTHING more than you are ALIVE! It is part of life. The alternative is being dead.

The next time you experience something that does not feel ideal or something that is challenging or a struggle ask yourself

How can I dance with this? What is the opportunity here? 

Everything could be either an opportunity or an obstacle… it is your choice.

This isn’t something we master the first time we put it into practice. This is a practice. Seeing life as an opportunity is something that might take time. Be patient with yourself and compassionate with yourself when you react and respond to life with resistance. It is okay, we all do at times. It is about being aware and then practicing how you actually want to show up and be in the world.

Also a huge thank you to the amazing man who inspired me to write this post. You know who you are. I am so grateful for you in my life. Truly you are so special to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts and anything that comes up for you around this! Please share them below in the comments box. Also if these words inspire you please share them with others.

Sending you love and light on your journey.

Kimberly

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A story from the Buddah

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The Buddha Teaches a Lesson on Forgiveness

The Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples when a man came and spit on his face. He wiped it off, and he asked the man, “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was a little puzzled because he himself never expected that when you spit on somebody’s face, he will ask, “What next?” He had no such experience in his past. He had insulted people and they had become angry and they had reacted. Or if they were cowards and weaklings, they had smiled, trying to bribe the man. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. But just matter-of-factly he said, “What next?” There was no reaction on his part.

Buddha’s disciples became angry, they reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this.”

Buddha said, “You keep silent. He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter. And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me, he has spit on his notion. He has spit on his idea of me because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?

“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something else to say because this is a way of saying something. Spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, “What next?”

The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and you have lived for years with me, and still you react.”

Puzzled, confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. When you see a Buddha, it is difficult, impossible to sleep again the way you used to sleep before. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind and his whole pattern, his whole past.

The next morning he was back there. He threw himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked him again, “What next? This, too, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language. When you come and touch my feet, you are saying something that cannot be said ordinarily, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is again here, he is saying something. This man is a man of deep emotions.”

The man looked at Buddha and said, “Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”

Buddha said, “Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing, it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here. I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.”

“And you also are new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry and he spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet, touching my feet. How can you be the same man? You are not the same man, so let us forget about it. Those two people, the man who spit and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”

 

I just love this story.  I have spent the last two years dissecting how I want to be in relationship to others. I truly want to be love and that is it. I want to be a strong, fierce stand for love, compassion, and kindness always. It looks a little messy trying to figure that out all of the time, especially because I am a pretty sensitive human. Yet the more I develop my own approach to love the more that I get to be curious about people and truly see them for all of their beauty, and mess… for their wholeness.

Would love to hear your thoughts of the story… share below!

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Learning trust one rock climbing fall at a time…

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The other day when I was in Bend, Oregon my wonderful friend Whitney’s uncle, Swiss Williamson, took us rock climbing. I didn’t take pictures, but the picture above is a free public domain picture that is beautiful and helps you paint a picture. The weather was not prime for outdoor climbing so he took us to the Bend Rock Gym where we had exactly an hour to climb until the gym was closing. During that hour I climbed hard. Climbing every route that I thought I could smash in an hour.

I hadn’t been climbing in probably about a year. The last time I had climbed was outdoors in Arkansas. My climbing experiences have consistently looked the same. I go climbing with people who are way more experienced and advanced than I am and I rely on them for direction. I look to them for routes and advice and motivation to get me through.

This day in Bend was different.

I put on my shoes, grabbed my chalk and just jumped on the wall. I didn’t ask permission. I didn’t see what other people were climbing. I just climbed. I was climbing for myself. I was climbing to feel my own strength. I was climbing to explore my own power and capabilities.

After spending about 30 minutes on climb after climb. Not having climbed in a year or so my arms and hands were spent. But I wanted to try one more route. It was a v1 white tape route on one of the corners before entering a bouldering cave. It looked relatively easy and I thought it would be a great way to end the night. I jumped on the rock. Swiss Williamson and Whitney were watching me from the ground and doing what I love most about the climbing community, being super supportive. I got to about the last three moves and my arms wanted to give out. I began to feel a little panicky because I was pretty far up and what I was holding onto no longer felt comfortable to hold. My hands were sweaty and I began to say two words… “I can’t”. Swiss and Whit were cheering me on from below, reminding me to breathe, telling me to trust that I could do it, and directing me to change my feet so that my hands and arms wouldn’t have to work so hard and could get a little rest. I was so grateful for their words and could hear what they were saying but then those two words just popped right out of my mouth again…

“I can’t.”

As I said the words I let go of the wall and fell from about 15 feet. Terrified as I hit the floor. My feet hit and then my legs buckled a little and I fell back onto the mat floors. My body was prefect and I was just a little shaken up. The weird thing was, it wasn’t the fall that shook me up. It was my lack of trust in the moment. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t know anything except for that I couldn’t make the next few moves and that I was going to have to fall. The shocking thing about those two words and this experience was that I don’t really live this way. In my day to day experience I will try anything. I will experiment with my life and my business. I will be adventurous and explore things I have never done. I take risks. Fear rarely gets the best of me. So feeling fear and not trusting that I could do something was a very good reminder that I still have lots of areas that I want to explore and take a look at.

Trust is one of them… especially trust in relationships.

I have a hard time trusting others when it comes to intimate relationships. I don’t want to sound jaded and it is a real struggle that pops up when I think about things like dating again. I want to give myself some compassion because I know that I have been through a lot in the last few years AND I don’t want to walk around the rest of my life not trusting others. I want to learn trust at a new level.

I sat on the thick mat floors pondering the fall I just took and slowly stretched and massaged out my hands and arms and then I decided to try again. I spread the white, dusty powder all over my hands in hopes of preventing sweat and got in position. I took the first moves with ease. Feeling fatigued but strong I made it to the same spot that I had fallen before. Swiss and Whitney were giving me beautiful direction again, helping me see where my feet could give my arms a break. I reworked my feet on the wall. My feet were strong yet my arms felt so tired. I began again to question if I was going to make it. Hearing words about trust and breath below I went for it, missed, and fell. Even though I fell, I felt amazing because I tried.

One of my favorite bits of advice I’ve received on my trip is…

“People rarely regret what they’ve tried, they learn from it.  While many people DO regret what they never tried.” 

The trust didn’t mean I made it to the end of the route. The trust gave me the ability to go for it anyways, try, see what happens. The trust gave me a feeling of accomplishment. The accomplishment wasn’t based on completing the climb or not it was based on putting myself out there, knowing I can always try again, knowing that trust and growth is a process in every area of life…not just rock climbing. Doing things in our lives is not about the end point or the completion of said thing… it is about the adventure getting there. It is about learning and taking beautiful things from every step on the way.

After that day at Bend Rock Gym I became clear that climbing could be the way for me to learn to trust again. I would be on the rock learning how to trust myself at a level I had never explored before, well at least not intentionally. I want to rock-climb more to explore self-trust. In doing so I believe that something will begin to shift in me… because it already has from two falls and one night at a climbing gym.

What helps you build trust in your life? Whether it is self trust? Or trust in others? Or trust in the process?

This exploration feels so new and beautiful to me. I have always known I had challenges around trust and now I want to blow it open, take a look, explore it, investigate it, and open myself up to healing and growth that I can’t even imagine possible. I want to walk through this life with the ability to trust myself, others, and life in general. This does not mean blind trust…but when I meet someone I really enjoy I want to get to know them from a loving, trusting place rather than a skeptical and distrusting place.

Same with my relationship with myself. I want to keep trusting that I can travel, make money, and build my business. I want to know that I can trust my instincts and intuition. I want to trust that I can do anything I set my mind too. This is where is starts. The rest will unfold as it will!

I would love to hear your thoughts or stories about trust. Do you struggle with trust too? Please share with me what is coming up! Share below!

xoxo

Kimberly

Our greatest struggle is a greatest gift…

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Today I am sitting in gratitude for all of the pain, struggle, and suffering I have endured. Not only in the last two years but in the entirety of my life.

Yesterday I spent the day in Seattle getting ready for my retreat and spending time with people I love and towards the end of the night I began to feel deep pain in my heart. Pain for living in a world and experience of living that is so unknown and so unpredictable at times. Pain for giving up false securities and safeties. The suffering and struggle that exists when you awaken to the truth that LOVE and NOW is all that exists and everything else in your life is made up because of patterning and survival techniques.

Not only has my struggle lead me to my strength. It has lead me to my truth. To my dream life. To my deep contentment and happiness. This does not mean that the pain goes away. Or that I don’t struggle or suffer.

I do.

Often.

AND I am clear that there is no hierarchy in my emotions, feelings, or my experiences. They are all here to serve me, teach me, and cultivate me towards growth, evolution, and the ability to love more  deeply and cleanly.

How can you send gratitude to all of the situations that have come and gone in your life? How can you send gratitude to your pain, struggle, and suffering? How can you send deep gratitude to everything that has brought you here and made you, you?

Sending you love…

Kimberly

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