Tag: business

Learning trust one rock climbing fall at a time…


The other day when I was in Bend, Oregon my wonderful friend Whitney’s uncle, Swiss Williamson, took us rock climbing. I didn’t take pictures, but the picture above is a free public domain picture that is beautiful and helps you paint a picture. The weather was not prime for outdoor climbing so he took us to the Bend Rock Gym where we had exactly an hour to climb until the gym was closing. During that hour I climbed hard. Climbing every route that I thought I could smash in an hour.

I hadn’t been climbing in probably about a year. The last time I had climbed was outdoors in Arkansas. My climbing experiences have consistently looked the same. I go climbing with people who are way more experienced and advanced than I am and I rely on them for direction. I look to them for routes and advice and motivation to get me through.

This day in Bend was different.

I put on my shoes, grabbed my chalk and just jumped on the wall. I didn’t ask permission. I didn’t see what other people were climbing. I just climbed. I was climbing for myself. I was climbing to feel my own strength. I was climbing to explore my own power and capabilities.

After spending about 30 minutes on climb after climb. Not having climbed in a year or so my arms and hands were spent. But I wanted to try one more route. It was a v1 white tape route on one of the corners before entering a bouldering cave. It looked relatively easy and I thought it would be a great way to end the night. I jumped on the rock. Swiss Williamson and Whitney were watching me from the ground and doing what I love most about the climbing community, being super supportive. I got to about the last three moves and my arms wanted to give out. I began to feel a little panicky because I was pretty far up and what I was holding onto no longer felt comfortable to hold. My hands were sweaty and I began to say two words… “I can’t”. Swiss and Whit were cheering me on from below, reminding me to breathe, telling me to trust that I could do it, and directing me to change my feet so that my hands and arms wouldn’t have to work so hard and could get a little rest. I was so grateful for their words and could hear what they were saying but then those two words just popped right out of my mouth again…

“I can’t.”

As I said the words I let go of the wall and fell from about 15 feet. Terrified as I hit the floor. My feet hit and then my legs buckled a little and I fell back onto the mat floors. My body was prefect and I was just a little shaken up. The weird thing was, it wasn’t the fall that shook me up. It was my lack of trust in the moment. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t know anything except for that I couldn’t make the next few moves and that I was going to have to fall. The shocking thing about those two words and this experience was that I don’t really live this way. In my day to day experience I will try anything. I will experiment with my life and my business. I will be adventurous and explore things I have never done. I take risks. Fear rarely gets the best of me. So feeling fear and not trusting that I could do something was a very good reminder that I still have lots of areas that I want to explore and take a look at.

Trust is one of them… especially trust in relationships.

I have a hard time trusting others when it comes to intimate relationships. I don’t want to sound jaded and it is a real struggle that pops up when I think about things like dating again. I want to give myself some compassion because I know that I have been through a lot in the last few years AND I don’t want to walk around the rest of my life not trusting others. I want to learn trust at a new level.

I sat on the thick mat floors pondering the fall I just took and slowly stretched and massaged out my hands and arms and then I decided to try again. I spread the white, dusty powder all over my hands in hopes of preventing sweat and got in position. I took the first moves with ease. Feeling fatigued but strong I made it to the same spot that I had fallen before. Swiss and Whitney were giving me beautiful direction again, helping me see where my feet could give my arms a break. I reworked my feet on the wall. My feet were strong yet my arms felt so tired. I began again to question if I was going to make it. Hearing words about trust and breath below I went for it, missed, and fell. Even though I fell, I felt amazing because I tried.

One of my favorite bits of advice I’ve received on my trip is…

“People rarely regret what they’ve tried, they learn from it.  While many people DO regret what they never tried.” 

The trust didn’t mean I made it to the end of the route. The trust gave me the ability to go for it anyways, try, see what happens. The trust gave me a feeling of accomplishment. The accomplishment wasn’t based on completing the climb or not it was based on putting myself out there, knowing I can always try again, knowing that trust and growth is a process in every area of life…not just rock climbing. Doing things in our lives is not about the end point or the completion of said thing… it is about the adventure getting there. It is about learning and taking beautiful things from every step on the way.

After that day at Bend Rock Gym I became clear that climbing could be the way for me to learn to trust again. I would be on the rock learning how to trust myself at a level I had never explored before, well at least not intentionally. I want to rock-climb more to explore self-trust. In doing so I believe that something will begin to shift in me… because it already has from two falls and one night at a climbing gym.

What helps you build trust in your life? Whether it is self trust? Or trust in others? Or trust in the process?

This exploration feels so new and beautiful to me. I have always known I had challenges around trust and now I want to blow it open, take a look, explore it, investigate it, and open myself up to healing and growth that I can’t even imagine possible. I want to walk through this life with the ability to trust myself, others, and life in general. This does not mean blind trust…but when I meet someone I really enjoy I want to get to know them from a loving, trusting place rather than a skeptical and distrusting place.

Same with my relationship with myself. I want to keep trusting that I can travel, make money, and build my business. I want to know that I can trust my instincts and intuition. I want to trust that I can do anything I set my mind too. This is where is starts. The rest will unfold as it will!

I would love to hear your thoughts or stories about trust. Do you struggle with trust too? Please share with me what is coming up! Share below!



What dreams may come…

Living in Denver has been a TRIP… In fact if any of you readers are tempted to move here, you might have a built in roommate (me)!! You lucky duck!

I decided in October to leap into my dreams and move to Denver because it marked the one year of my divorce finalizing. I officially have been divorced a year and have been without a partner for almost two  years. Before I got married, I had maybe spent a total of two years alone. I was always in some sort of relationship. Always codependent on someone else. Always looking for my truth and worth in the eyes of another. Always looking for approval. Always hoping that I would be the gem in someone else’s eye.

Well let me tell a little of what has happened here in the beautiful mile high city, in a short three weeks:

I forced my way into the lives of a group of amazing humans. I was once told by a friend that if you want someone to be your friend, make them your friend. So that is exactly what I did. One night, a friend and I, knocked on the door of a house that we had been eyeing. Once the door opened I knew that my life would be changed. This group of humans only do what they want and they make money don’t it. Sound familiar? It is kind of exactly what I am looking to do… They are brilliant. They are creative. They think outside the box. They have become my friends, colleagues, and inspirations. They have given me the wind I needed when I wasn’t sure if I could get off the ground on my own. They have given me full permission to go after what I want and NEVER LOOK BACK. Thank you Pennsylvanian Hot House!

I asked the Universe for a mentor and it gave me one. This person is completely different than me.  They offer me a whole entirely new skill set. They offer me a sounding board and truth. In fact, my heart is telling me that this is the game changer I have been seeking.

I got to spend an entire week with part of my soul, a desert sister, that has been a rock in my life since 2007! She came to Denver and let’s just say we left this town a little different than we found it. Oh the shenanigans!!

I have met woman upon woman who have spoken to my soul. Who live life differently. Who want to play big. Who are seeking. Goodness my heart is overflowing from every interaction I have been blessed to have with all of you! Thank you for being exactly who you are!

I have gotten the opportunity to miss all of the humans that I have and LOVE in my life. To miss someone is such a unique experience. It is so fun to put time, effort, thought into staying connected. Picture texts, phone calls, energetic exchanges…

I have written some of my most beautiful pieces of work. I am growing as a writer and learning how I write and what works for me. I am learning what inspires me when I write. Which comes so much from people. The mundane things in life. Watching  people live. Watching people interact. Watching people love. Being the observer of people and allowing it to fill me and inspire me has changed my entire life. Thanks people for being people! It is truly profound to be human and to walk this Earth. It takes courage. I honor all of you for doing it. And I thank you for sharing it with me, even if in the smallest specks of time and knowing we never see each other again. This is what life is about and the fact that I get to capture it in words is a gift.

My career has come to life. My belief and trust in my work has solidified. My passion is constantly increasing like a beam of light and everyday I see it has reached a little further and has rooted itself a little deeper into my soul. It is beginning to be difficult to distinguish the difference between my life and my work.

This one is the knocker…

Last night as I was lying in bed something happened… I had the thought…

“I can’t imagine anyone being in this bed with me.”

Then my thought process looked something like this…


I like being alone?

I like being alone!

Yes, I really like being alone!!

I like who I am. I like being around myself. In this moment I realized I am becoming the gem of my own eye.

Then I rolled over and fell into a deep, restful sleep and had the first dream I have remembered in a long time. I dreamed I was in a beautiful relationship and I was happy.

The smile I fell asleep with hasn’t left my face.

I am beginning to believe I have it in me to love another deeply again. To open up. To trust.

This is such a relief to me. I knew I would eventually have to come full circle and begin to open again… but I was seriously worrying because every time I would think about being in a relationship or see a couple I would get nauseated… I wish I was joking. Two years in a constant state of nausea. I was wondering if it was serious…

Today I feel different. Like I’ve turned a leaf. Maybe the changing of seasons has something to do with it. Or maybe in falling in love with myself and being dedicated to go after what I want has given me space to heal and love again.

All that I do know is that the path revealed itself to me and I said YES! Each day is a new adventure that I am embracing. Each day I take one more step forward. Today I am at peace. I am free. I am alive. I am so grateful for this life and the opportunity to live it.

More to come…


What in the world is a manifesto?

PC: Jessica Brown

What in the world is a Manifesto? (Said in nothing less than a distinct southern twang)

Today is a really big day in my business. Tessa (my business partner) and I are launching our biggest retreat series ever, Revolutionary Retreats. We were inspired to do so after we had attended many retreats in the past and every single time we left the retreat and fell into




Honestly, just a downward spiral. Why you might ask? Well it is because retreats are all about lifting you up, making you inspired. This is great, this is wonderful I am not at all dissing this part of the process. My only issue is that then when you leave you literally do not even know where to start or how to implement what you just learned. You got high and then like all highs… you crash. And I mean you crash hard. We decided we wanted to revolutionize the way retreats are done… through a year process of trying to figure out what that even looks like…it finally hit us. There need to be retreats that ‘pump you up’ but also set you up for success. What I mean by success is getting the shit done while you are there. No leaving the retreat and then trying to figure out, on your own, how to implement all the knowledge and inspiration you had.  Key word… had. So we have devolved a series of retreats where you get the shit done while being fully empowered and inspired!!!

Our first retreat launches today!! Check it out here: www.revolutionaryretreats.com 

Back to the first question about Manifesto’s… well if you just hopped over to our website hopefully you feel a little bit more learned about what a Manifesto is. Through the last few months Tessa, Rebecca (our collaboration partner on this amazing project) and I have been going through our own Manifesto Creation Process and I wanted to share with you a little something that came out of it…

One of our assignments was to write a letter to one of our yummiest clients…sharing with them what we wanted for them…what we hope they experience, what we dream for them…

Well I didn’t know this was going to happen…but this came out.

I wrote this at a coffee shop in Denver, CO… the whole time while crying my eyes out! Yep, imagine that scene… it was as epic as it sounds!

Here are the goods:

As my heart speaks,

Sometimes at night I curl my body and weep into cotton hoping that you realize your worthiness. That one day you might feel in the depths of your soul that you deserve everything you could dream of. That you might feel in the center of your being that who you are and what makes you worthy has nothing to do with your looks, your body shape, your career, your clothes, your house, your car, your money, your actions, your status, your emotions, your scars, your shames, your biggest regrets… NONE OF IT. Let me say it again, NONE OF IT… Who you are is light, love, and truth. You, sweet soul, were born into your worthiness. It can never leave you or be stripped from you. Never. You are brilliant and beautiful because you were born into this world; it is that simple and that complex. I beg of you please… please stop resisting yourself. Accept yourself in your perfection and in your wholeness. Please… please stop destroying yourself. Love and be kind to yourself each step of the way. Sometimes I loose my footing as my breath shortens and my heart breaks knowing the words you speak to yourself. I hear them because they too are the same words that I whisper to myself, hoping, praying no one hears. Child of this beautiful, crazy world, not a one of those words are true. Not one. The only thing that is true about you is that you are so fucking perfect that nothing can get within miles of your perfection. You were born perfect and you will die perfect. You contentment lies in this truth. Your happiness rests in this realization. Your boldness is in the owning that you are already everything you need to be. Please know that your tears and pain are just as beautiful as your smiles and laughs. For without the night we would not know the day. You are a whole. You are complete. You are perfect. If you want to meditate, meditate on how perfect you are. If you want to change the world step into your wholeness and nothing can but be completely transformed and altered in this truth. Go into the world. Stand tall. Exactly where you are. Free yourself from the prison chains. You hold the key, my love, in your own heart.

From my heart to yours. I give you permission to fly.



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