Author: kimberlyjohnson (page 5 of 10)

Day 3: Welcoming Struggle

 

Today is day 3 of my #MeditationMovement.

I sat this morning as the sun was rising with one of my favorite people. As we sat together I had many awakenings.

  1. I easily take on other peoples things and leave my own things behind. My mentor calls this sleep walking. When you are more worried about another person and what they think and what they are doing more than being present to ourselves and what we think and what we are doing. She always asks me when you are thinking about them so much who is over here running your life? Or are you sleep walking?
  2. There is so much about life to be grateful for. Why don’t we obsess about those things?
  3. When you take care of yourself you are actually taking care of others.
  4. The answer to everything is LOVE and PRESENCE.

Let me explain this fourth one a little bit more.

The last few times I have meditated I have been doing this specific meditation where I:

Inhale these things:

I welcome struggle.

I welcome challenge.

I welcome judgment.

I welcome hardship.

I welcome failure.

I welcome endings.

I welcome death.

I welcome darkness.

I welcome mistakes.

I welcome ridicule.

Exhale this:

LOVE AND PRESENCE

I realize that the answer to everything hard or challenging that life hands you is LOVE AND PRESENCE.

I do not want to attract bad things to me. But the truth is that life hands you intense situations and circumstances. Life also hands you beautiful and vibrant situations and circumstances sometimes and the answer to both are the same. Love and presence.

If I can be open and welcoming to anything life hands me then I am never sideswiped by something awful happening. Nothing is awful it is just being human and life. And when I am grounded in that no matter what I do my answer is love and presence then I always have the action steps and answers to anything that comes in my life.

I don’t want this to sound idealistic. I am clear that I will fail at this but I welcome failure and I know when I fail I get to love myself again and show up present for myself again. Life is about practice. I want to practice ease and flow and welcoming. I want to practice love and presence in the face of anything in life.

I don’t want to practice drama or obsession of negative thoughts or habits or wallowing in my shit. Even though I know there will be times where I do all of these things and still my question always is how can I return to LOVE and how can I return to PRESENCE.

Presence to me is this…

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When we misuse time we are living everywhere but the present moment.

When you aren’t doing any of the above and you are just enjoy the moment or completely in the moment you are present.

This is what I want to cultivate by the

#MeditationMovement

I want to be awake for life. I notice time and time again when I talk to people how much they aren’t listening or aren’t present or paying attention. In the moments I notice the sleeping and distraction of most of the planet I ask myself where am I distracted where I am asleep?

The more I wake up the more others will wake up.

Meditation brings presence to areas of my life that need attention. It gives me moments to pause and be. It gives me moments to sit in gratitude. It gives me moments to feel alive without the assumption that to be alive and feel fully alive means that you must be doing something epic. The truth is being alive is available to all of us, each moment, if we just get quiet, listen, and experience LIFE that is happening NOW.

Want to try meditating but don’t know where to begin? Email me let’s chat!!! kimberly@revolutionarylivinginstitute.com

Would love for you to share your heart too, whatever comes up please post in the comments section or if you are so moved share these words!

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#MeditationMovement

Today marks the beginning of a journey that I am embarking upon.

It came to me when I was in a creation call with my business partner.

Sometimes things hit you and there is no other option but to listen the call. To answer the call and let the Universe do its magic.

365 Days of Meditation Starts NOW

#MeditationMovement

This is a movement that is bringing meditation to the masses. It does not have any political or religious slant. It is not affiliated with any specific religion or church. It is a movement based completely in peace and love. It is a movement standing for that Meditation is a way to bring people from all walks of life together with the common purpose of awakening. Awakening to consciousness. 

My hopes and desires of this movement is that people will make their own. That people will do their own #MeditationMovement. That they will use this hashtag to share, tell their stories, connect, collaborate, and expand consciousness.

Starting today I am sitting in meditation for 365 days.

Because I own a business and work in the community this does not mean that I will only be sitting in meditation. I will be living my life and every single day for a year will sit in meditation for some amount of time. My goal is that through the year to keep extending my time to long and long sits. Also during the year I will be sitting in public spaces inviting any and all beings who feel called to be a stand for love and peace in the world to join me.

Today is my first day of asking who ever may be called to come and sit with me. You can sit for any amount of time. I will be sitting in front of Dark Star Visuals in Fayetteville, AR from 8:00am til noon. I will have a spokes person there to speak to anyone who has questions, who is interested in hearing more about what I am up to, and who is just there to hold space and capture the experience and guide any beings that want to join in.

I believe in bold action.

I believe in walking my talk.

I believe in modeling what I value and want in the world.

This is my stand. This is my way of showing up. This is my way of BEING THE CHANGE. 

As I sit daily I welcome any and all beings to  join in. Post your pictures and stories on your social media and use the hashtag #MeditationMovement. To be in this movement there are no specifications. You can meditation once and join in. You can choose to join me in 365 days. This is your movement. Make it your own.

I will be posting my experience here and on my instagram.

We together can, will, and are altering the existence of man as we know it. If you know this is your calling JOIN ME.

Also if you feel called and inspired PLEASE reach out to me. I would love to have a conversation with you. I would love to connect with you.

Email me and we will set up a time to chat and connect

Kimberly@revolutionarylivinginstitute.com

Soooo excited!

Here goes nothing.

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Pictures on pictures…

When I first was going through my divorce I did a badass photo shoot… (photos below)

So much of the credit must be given to my amazing photographer Jessica Brown you can check out her website here.

I just came across again some of the photos and I was so inspired by my journey. That I wanted to share.

There was a moment when I was sooo broken. I still have moments of feeling broken and wondering the reasons for life’s extreme ups and downs. And then I remember…

Everything is perfect and unfolding exactly as it is supposed to be. If things were meant to be different then they would be. Period.

I have posted this quote before but goodness… its relevance feels more true everyday.

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My divorce was the blossoming and the next step to my self-actualization. To me knowing myself. To me falling sooo deeply in love with myself that I could love every human and living being on this planet.

This photo shoot reminds me of where I have come from and where I am going. I am here to love. I am here to be a pillar of peace and love.

There are moments when I lose touch because of the hardships of life. Yet NOTHING will take it away.

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Everything in life is working for the good of the Universe and the World. Darkness is the absence of light. Hate is the absence of love.

These pictures are my light in a really dark place. They are my reminder that all is well. They are my remembering of what I am doing here.

I love you. Not necessarily because I know you or see you often or have something invested in you. I love you because you are me. I love you because I see you. I love you because I know you.

You are loved.

Please know that. Not because you act a certain way. Not because you look a certain way. Not because you have certain things…. You are loved because you are LOVE. You are God, Universe, Mother Earth. You are everything. You are as Rumi says:

You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.

So grateful,

Kimberly

Do you desire to know yourself?

Love After Love

By Derek Walcott

The time will come when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving at your own door,

in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here.

Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

 

When we meet people that get us and see us just as we are, no facade, no walls just us something magical happens.

My soul was fed this morning by a soul that I can so clearly see and I trust can so clearly see me.

I believe that we can be seen by each other because we see ourselves. In knowing ourselves we get to experience moments of just knowing. There isn’t a real need to talk or explain we get to just say and be and all is understood in each moment. It is my greatest hope to help guide others into the journey of knowing themselves so that they might know others, God (or any other word that feels good in your soul), and all the exists. To know ones self is to know all that is.

If you are more interested in my work I would love to hear from you! You can email me at kimberly@revolutionarylivinginstitute.com. If when you read this you hear the calling from within, the desire to dive deep within yourself, the knowing that there is more and this is your path. I would soooo love to chat! Listen to your call. To answer the call is the beginning.

If this poem or these words resonated at all I would love to hear how, you can comment in the comments below and if you are so called please feel free to share this post!

To knowing ourselves,

Kimberly

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What to do when you are lonely…

Some people that I talk to and share my journey with ask me

how do you 

Travel alone?

Live alone?

Eat out alone?

Even though at the depths of my soul I know and trust that I am never actually alone. Living in the reality that loneliness is nothing more than forgetting that we are all just one, connected, not separate in any capacity. I believe that separation is an illusion. (But I won’t go anymore into all that right now…)

Because even though I truly believe the above with all my heart I too experience a feeling and sensation that I have no other words to describe except for as loneliness.

It is an entire body sensation.  And at times it literally takes me over. I remember times in my marriage when I would be laying in bed with my husband and I would feel so alone. Like no one understood me. Like I would never find or have someone in my life that totally got me.

The more I have learned about myself and the more I fall in love with myself and honor myself the more this feeling has almost completely gone away.

I said almost.

I was sitting this morning in my house alone. Experiencing the aftermath and feelings and emotions of a relationship changing and shifting. Processing it all and feeling like shit I am going to always be alone?

Then I remembered my truth and pulled out a piece of paper and did this…

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I made a list of things that make me feel connected, amazing, and totally in love with my life.

I have found the best way to powerfully deal and be with whatever comes up for me in  my life is to understand what is coming up to the best of my ability and then have a plan and an idea of what I can do when it comes up…

So in the case of loneliness what I did above is make a list of things I can do when I feel lonely.

The second I feel lonely I find the list and run through it. I don’t just look at it I take action and do one of the things on the list.

This list is not only a list I run through but it is also a reminder that I have a full life. That I do a lot of things alone and have moments of feeling alone BUT I also have so many amazing people and things happening in my life.

We all need reminders.

Nothing is permenant. Just like you aren’t happy every single second. You also are not going to be lonely forever. This too shall pass.

Our feelings and emotions shift every moment in this lifetime.

The ability to reach for your list and do something on your list is just as true and just as real as you sitting and overthinking your loneliness. Or making your loneliness a bad/horrible thing. What if your loneliness is just here to get you doing the things you actually want to be doing more? What if your loneliness is just here to remind you of how amazing your life is? What if?

I want to hear what is on your list. Please share it below here on the comments tab!!

You are truly amazing.

xoxo

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Sometimes all that can be is silence…

Things are percolating…

 

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Things are shifting and evolving over here. I have been retreating and I know this to be so.

There has been darkness.

There has been light.

And something big is coming. 

Thank you for your patience and diligence and keeping me accountable to all of you.

Keep your eyes peeled.

So much love…

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There are cokes and beer in the cooler…

Sweat dripping off our faces. We sat in the hot sun in a small town in Wyoming.

photo-37(Street Art/Laramie, WY)

Our car started breaking down around midnight, finally becoming un-drivable in Laramie, WY around 1:00am. From 3:00am – 7:00am we slept cramped in the front seat of the truck while the two dogs and cat took over the back seat in the parking lot of a mechanic shop that we hoped would help us when they opened at 8.

The mechanic was not automatically available to help us in the morning. After Zack and him talked about what might be wrong. Zack decided to tackle the problem. Which consisted of replacing the fuel pump. The mechanic sent us across the street into a vacant parking lot for Zack to do the work. There was no shade and the sun was scorching hot.

Zack worked hard and I sat with the dogs. In the same parking lot was a group of four men who were also stranded here from their transmission going out and they were also headed back to Arkansas.

The longer we sat the more uncomfortable I became. Exhausted from no sleep. Body hurting from being cramped in the car. Mind racing wondering if we would ever get home. I began to slow have a melt down literally and figuratively.

I couldn’t get present for the life of me. Tears kept welling up in my eyes. Frustration boiling.

I didn’t want to be here. I honestly could think of 1 million other places I would have rather been.

These thoughts of course started creating deep suffering in me. The truth of the situation was that I was completely fine. I was in a car, totally safe, with a person and creatures I deeply love. I had food and water.

Yet my thoughts about wanting to be somewhere else kept me feeling very stuck and upset.

I snapped at Zack and said “I just want to fly home, I don’t want to be here”.

He walked away from me looked defeated and crushed. In the next 5 minutes this happened.

He was gone. I was crying.

It was just me and the dogs and cat…

I had my eyes closed, head resting on the drivers seat, feet dangling out of the truck, and I heard a voice.

It was one of the men who’s transmission went out.

He said “you look like are having a rough time”. I responded and said “yes I am feeling pretty rough”. He then said “well I don’t have much to offer you but if you need something to drink I have cokes and beer in the back of my truck in a cooler, if you want one please feel free to grab one, we are going to walk to Wal-Mart a few miles away”.

In that moment his kindness struck me.

He was in a worse off situation than me. Their car was unfixable because they didn’t have the money to pay for a new transmission and they were waiting for someone to be driving through that could drive the four of them south and he was willing to give to me what he could. He had nothing to give and was willing to give it all.

I took a breath and looked at him and said thank you. My stiff, hard face softened.

His kindness brought me back to the present moment.

Zack came back minutes later and I looked at him and thanked him for working so hard. I apologized for being impatient and unsupportive. We hugged and kissed and in that moment I felt grateful to be with a man I care so much about. I felt grateful for the kindness of a stranger. Honestly I felt grateful for EVERYTHING.

This stranger was my teacher and reminder. He taught me that kindness and softening is most important in times when you really don’t want to. He taught me how the smallest gestures of kindness does change the world. He in that moment changed my world.

I want to take a moment and send cosmic gratitude to this man. To this teacher. Wherever you are, I want to send you so much love and deep deep gratitude.

I hope you made it home. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your kindness and being who you are.

Grateful,

skylook

 

What I want…

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Sitting on a bed we began discussing our day. I said I want to do one of two things…

Go to the beach and swim in the ocean

OR

Go backpacking

Yet the picture above describes my whole day. Literally.

My boyfriend, Zack’s, truck broke down.

Zack’s beautiful, wonderful dog started coughing up blood this morning after a saddening diagnosis of liver and lung cancer last week.

Zack had moments of feeling defeated and me thankfully having the ability to just sit with him.

Sit and be patient while he figured out his truck.

Sit and be patient while his pup got some rest.

Sit and be patient.

Sure my day didn’t look like what I initially thought it would. But going to the beach or backpacking were just my preferences because WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT IN LIFE is to just be, have peace, and have the ability to see the immense beauty in each moment. What I actually want is the ability to realign peacefully when it is needed without regret, resentment, or frustration.

When you are lying on the beach or hiking up a beautiful mountain it is easier to feel at peace and be connected to the beauty and amazement of this world. But what about days that don’t go your way or days that you just sit and are patiently awaiting the next moment? What if you could be just as connected to the beauty and amazement in those moments? What if you knew that you could be with each moment exactly as it is and feel happy, content, and at peace? What if our outer circumstances didn’t have control over our state of being?

Life serves up curve balls and hiccups and our job is to continue to be. Only if I had an attachment to going to the beach or backpacking would my day been ruined.

Nothing and everything happened today. Each moment of this day is so special because it will never happen again. I feel closer to Zack today than I have felt in a long time. We had to work through communication and upset and disappointment together.

I trust everything is unfolding exactly as it should and in that knowing I have peace. I trust that an any moment I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I trust that whatever life brings that it will bring the exact lesson, experience, and thing that I need to keep evolving and moving me forward.

Here is a cheers to sitting and being and knowing that it is perfect and enough. We create our own joy and bliss. It isn’t our outer circumstances it is our inner state of being.

Today can you find joy in each moment, even if it doesn’t feel ideal or isn’t what you had dreamed of?

I would love to hear what these words bring up in you. Please comment below if you are so inspired!

xoxo

Kimberly

Airports and drunk men…

Sitting, reading, and minding my own business when I look up and a man gestures to me to smile. I guess while reading I don’t emanate extreme joy and happiness.

In return I smiled politely, appreciating his sentiment, and looked back down.

Seconds later the man was approaching me.

When I saw him I smiled once again for courtesy or to be funny I don’t know.

He put out his hand and introduced himself. “Hi, I am Tom.”

The second he spoke I understood that we were living in different realities. It became very obvious to me that he had been heavily drinking.

“Hi, I’m Kimberly”. I out stretched my hand and we shook.

“I am almost divorced” he said “from her over there” as he points to a sad looking woman across the way.

I responded “oh yeah, divorce is intense”.

He continued to speak but the words this time came out degrading and harmful about the woman so I quickly raised my hands and said “hey could you please speak only kindly about her or not say anything, even if it is for no other reason than she is another human and deserves respect”.

In that second his head drops. I got a little nervous not knowing what his next response would be.  His breathing suddenly shifted to slower and deeper.

As he lifted his head I saw he had tears rolling down his face and he said “I know. I have been an awful husband”.

We sat together. I listened to him. Sure his voice was louder than normal. Sure he kept repeating himself and asking me the same questions. Sure he wasn’t always making the most sense.

Yet I sat with him. I want to treat all humans the same. Kind. Loving. Compassionate. Curious.

Towards the end of our conversation he stood up and said “I am sorry I have made a fool out of myself… I usually don’t drink that much and it would be nice for you to have met the real me”.

I looked at him and said “I don’t think you made a fool of yourself, it was really nice to meet you and really nice to talk to another human”.

He responded “it really is, isn’t it?”.

We smiled and he walked away.

When he walked away more magic ensued.

I took back to my book and the next thing I knew a group of three people walked up to me.

“That was the kindest thing we have ever seen. You are so patient. We weren’t even talking to him and we were annoyed with him.” One of the girls in the group said.

I smiled at them and said ‘thank you”, not sure what else to say.

The conversation continued and led to other people in the general vicinity joining in and sharing how the event offered them something.

In this moment I just breathed. Taking in others opinion of the situation. Grateful I was able to access kindness today, because on other days I don’t get so lucky.

Kindness to me has become less of an isolated act towards another and has become a way that I see the world. I want to walk through my life kind. Not just kind to the stranger on the street or the client who I am serving… kind to everyone and as I do anything.

You can make your food with kindness.

You can treat your spouse with kindness.

You can take a city walk with kindness.

Kindness as a way of life.

Today how can you add kindness into your actions, interactions, and every moment?

I would love to hear anything that comes up for you, please feel free to share below in the comment box below. Also if you are inspired to share these words with anyone you think would enjoy them please feel free to share!

In so much love,

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Are you giving up before it is time?

I spent the night in my parents house last night. Oh to wake up to my parents making breakfast and sitting around the table with them laughing and sharing is such a beautiful gift to me.

My parents went to work around 9 am and I was left to my own devices. I threw in some laundry (thank you mom and dad for the speedy laundry service) and then I decided I was going to meditate.

I want to pause for a second and celebrate!!  I just completed a 40 Day Yoga and Meditation Challenge!!!  Wooohoooo!!!

It was life changing. My body feels strong. My brain feels challenged and open.

With that said. I am feeling really called to make this 40 days into 365 days.

So today is day 41 and I am not stopping. Back to the original story.

Deciding that I was going to meditate I went into my parents living room and found some couch pillows stacked them up near the couch and sat.

When I sat I set my clock timer for 25 minute. I had exactly an hour until I had to leave my parents and I would spend 25 of those minutes meditating and letting the clothes wash and then the other 35 drying the clothes and packing my things for my upcoming Seattle trip.

Start.

Timer began, I closed my eyes, and my mind began to wander.

Did you unplug the outlet at your new place?

You didn’t wash your yoga towel.

I wonder if the washer will go off before my meditation timer.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

I wonder if I can slow down my breath.

I really need to slow down.

Yeah slowing down would change everything for you.

It is kind of funny you are even rushing to make it to Joplin on time.

How can I slow down right now?

Inhale. (Let’s see if I can do it real slow.)

Innnnhallllleeeeeeee.

Exxxxxxhalllllllleeeee.

Yeah that was pretty good.

Gosh I wonder how long it has been. Maybe I should look.

Oh I think I just heard the laundry stop. I should just stop my mediation. I don’t have to be doing this. I can stop anytime.

….. then this came in.

Kimberly why do you always give up before it’s time? What would happen if you stuck it out the whole 25 minutes? What would shift for you if you knew that you could just finish something you started? What if you trusted yourself to do what you said you were going to do?

Also if you stop what are you going to do and check your laundry, cool. But can that not wait til this is done? What is really making you want to stop? What do you really want to do instead of this?

I stopped and pondered this question: what did I really want to do instead? The truth was I had no idea what I wanted to do. Honestly nothing at all popped into my brain but I felt so extremely uncomfortable that I knew that I wanted to do anything other than this. Or was it?

I sat. I said ok I get it. If I am not sure what I really want to do why would I quit something I know is so wonderful for me?

Why do we quit anything in life, especially when we have no idea what we really want to do instead?

Is it because we are scared of being uncomfortable? Scared of continuing whatever we are doing without knowing what is to come or what will come out of it?

Today this was definitely the case. I would rather have done ANYTHING but sit and feel so uncomfortable.

Yet I just kept sitting in it. I kept saying to myself if you can figure out what you really want to do besides this then hell yes I support you going to  do it but if you are just trying to escape this feeling then I am just going to sit in it until my timer goes off.

I never could think of anything better to do. So I sat.

I knew that if in this moment I couldn’t just find peace and serenity

in just my breath

on those pillows

I would never find it.

Towards the end the anxiety of needing to be somewhere else faded.

The silence, the breath took me over. There was a deep peace. Calm.

It was just me and my breath. Me and nothing. Me and everything.

Dinnnng. Dinnnng. The timer began to ring.

“Wow”, I thought, “I can do anything”.

Xoxo

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