I used to be a very stingy person. Always feeling like I didn’t have enough of anything to give to another. Feeling the fear of not having enough money or time. In this fear I stopped giving pretty much all together. I clung to everything I had and I was left pretty empty and tired and stressed about all of the things I feared not having enough of.
This was especially true of giving anything to homeless people I would meet in the world.
I used to never be able to look homeless people in the eyes. I used to walk past them quickly and avoid any sort of contact. This to me was a place where I felt so much shame because I have a brother who is homeless. I spent years pretending that I didn’t judge him or think anything less of him yet my actions spoke very differently of what I actually thought.
My journey to Denver has been a journey of looking closer at this and dissolving all separation I have towards me and my fellow brothers and sisters that live on this Earth with me. All judgments I carry towards them. All the ways that I feel better than them. All the ways that I feel less than them.
It has been a journey of how to love everyone the same. Treat everyone the same. Give to everyone the same. Look at everyone in the eyes the same.
To see truth in everyone.
As I have been practicing these things I have had many things come up… painful and intense things.
Today, this is what happened. I became very triggered by my interaction with a homeless man on the side of the street.
To process it I made a video about what happened.
I believe clarity happens when we sit with things. Many people think sitting is an act of laziness or that it won’t get you anywhere to sit. I think it is the core of being and the core of understanding ourselves and this life. It is where so much information is given to us. If we take the time to sit so much will be revealed to us.
This story is also a reminder that we aren’t meant to have all of the answers. That is what God/Spirit/Universe is for. It is our duty to call on and ask for things to be translated to truth that we don’t understand. Let go and let God. It is simply a practice. Letting go and sitting and asking for clarity and truth. Just like I laid out in the video. It isn’t some magic formula it is as simple as pausing and praying or asking for help.
This man, this lovely man was my teacher today. I honor him and his journey. I am so grateful.
May our lives be our message. May we have the courage to walk our talk and be a walking example of love and light in this world.
Now it is your turn!! What are you practicing right now? What came up for you when you watched this video? Please share your voice in the comments. Also if you feel like someone would love these words please feel free to share this video or blog!
In gratitude to the strangers we meet along the journey,