I don’t know what to do…

In life we all are faced with moments when we will need to make decisions. Some of them are harder than others. All of them are important to us because they create our lives and move us either closer to our goals and desires or further away. Decision by its nature is the act of choosing one thing over another. At times making a decision is an easy yes and at other times choice between two things isn’t as clearly defined.

Many times when faced with these harder moments of decision making or desired change or shifting intense emotion, feeling or thoughts surface. The intensity of these emotions, feelings, or thoughts can overwhelm us and leave us feeling frozen, unable to do anything.

Moving to Colorado at times has felt like this. I have since moving here felt at times an intense pull towards two things that oppose each other. Feeling unclear about which one to choose or which one I truly want. For instance:

I want to create community and connection here in Colorado AND in moments of potential outings of meeting  people I have often felt an even more intense desire to be alone or to be at home reading or praying.

I also lately have been feeling a desire for partnership and love YET as I said have a deep desire to be alone, I want complete independence and I don’t want to be responsible for another in any way, shape, or form.

In work and career I am pulled between my time managing a cafe AND the deep desire to put all of my energies into my business and coaching.

In health I want a 100% sugar free diet and daily I am craving things with sugar, sometimes giving in and other times not.

You see the dualities exist in most areas of my life. At time these dualities feel intense. I want one thing while also feeling like I want something else. This could be called and is called by some professionals a ‘split mind’. Desiring two things that oppose each other.

In these situations I am left with feelings of frustration, emotion, confusion, and am completely frozen in indecision. Not really knowing what to do. My mind is split. Feeling like I want to make a move or take an action but the stress and anxiety of not knowing what to choose is too overwhelming to do anything. Letting the emotion overwhelm me instead of pausing and listening and allowing it to gift me information.  Not choose is still choosing. It is reactionary choosing instead of powerfully choosing. In the overwhelmed emotion I then often choose sugar or isolation or busyness to fill my time instead of connecting with another or nourishing my body or productively taking action to create what I want in  my business. Can you see the cycle?

Do you ever experience this? Where do you feel confusion, frustration, stress or anxiety, or a feeling of not knowing what to choose?

Pause and ask yourself… where do I feel frustrated? Indecisive? Stressed or anxious?

Then ask, in this situation do I want two things that are opposing each other? Two things that will achieve opposite results? Two things moving in opposite directions?

If so what are they?

Do you desire weight-loss and health but think that you deserve to eat whatever you want on the weekends or when you eat out?

Do you want a career change but are stricken by the fear of money?

Do you desire to make friends and connection but you don’t want to leave your house after a long day?

I made a video about what to do in these situations…

These might seem like bigger decisions but we are faced with this in every single moment. What are we choosing? Kindness or shortness with the teller at the bank. Patiences or frustration with your child. Compassion or self-loathing with yourself.

What are committed to? Where do you split your commitment and live in the uneasy feelings and emotions that come with that?

How can you experiment in your life with commitment and letting go?

Remember 99% is a bitch, 100% commitment is a breeze.

I would love to hear your voice. What is coming up for you? What are you committing to? What are you letting go of and Letting God? Please share your heart below.

If you feel that someone else might be enriched from these words or this video and you feel moved to share it please do.

I am so grateful for this community. Sending you love and light on this wild journey.

May we all be free, at peace, and fully expressed in life,

Kimberly
jess-6501

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s. I am about to launch my new websiteeeeee….keep your eyes peeled! Really fun and beautiful things happening over here! Blessings.

2 Comments

  1. Freaking yes!!!!! I have been exactly this so many times!! Split between multiple options with no idea which to choose because FEAR was holding me back, leaving me feeling STUCK in one place.

    I currently am at that place now where I know I want to raise my standard for how much money I want to make, but am afraid I’m not enough to get a better position somewhere or to create it myself and am tempted to seek after the menial jobs that I know 100% I can be hired and feel that immediate rush of instant gratification. I’ve been here before, and after that immediate satisfaction, I am once again feeling like I’m not living up to my fullest potential. I’m currently in an effort to create the CERTAINTY that no matter WHAT, I know I’ll be taken care of and will succeed as long as I continue going after my goal.

    SO! I trust that by taking steps forward each and every day I will get closer to what I’m after. One day at a time baby. 100% commitment to taking SOME form of action each day!!

    Love!!

  2. Hello! Cool post, amazing!!!

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